My Child, Our Child (Silhouette Special Edition) Read online

  “I couldn’t impose.”

  “You won’t. Besides, Sam and little Brian are going to be here.”

  Jackie shot her a quick glance. Did she know about her and Sam? Of course not. How could she? And what was there to know, anyway? Just because they’d slept together during a snowstorm didn’t make them a couple, for gosh sakes. But why had Willa felt the need to mention Sam? Then she told herself she was being silly. Why wouldn’t she? After all, it had been the story of the century when it came out she’d come to take over land everyone thought had always belonged to the Colton family.

  “You two getting along?” Willa asked, eyes narrowing ever so slightly over the rim of her coffee mug. “Folks figure he wasn’t too happy about finding out what his uncle did.”

  “It was a surprise,” Jackie said blandly, as though it were of no real consequence. “And we get along fine. But I don’t see him that often,” she felt the need to emphasize, “now that the harvest is over.”

  “Well, you’ll see him for Christmas dinner, anyway. He came last year, too. There’s always lots of children, and he likes Brian to be around them, though he doesn’t play or anything. Just sits there and looks at them.” Willa shook her head and made tsking sounds of sympathy. “He’s a pitiful little thing. His mother should be horsewhipped for leaving him. What Sam needs to do is find himself a wife. I’ve been trying to get him interested in my niece, Rosemary. She’s from Blowing Rock. A schoolteacher. She was born in the mountains, and he’d never have to worry about her leaving him for the big-city life. She’ll be here for Christmas, and you’ll meet her.”

  Jackie primly nibbled at a cookie, figuring if she were eating, her feelings would not show on her face—feel—ings she told herself she was crazy to be having... like jealousy. “How does Sam feel about that?” She managed to sound nonchalant, as though merely making conversation.

  “Well, they’ve met before, and he knows she’s coming,” Willa said. “And I mention her to him every time I see him. He said he’d be here, too, so he must be interested.”

  Jackie felt her heart slide down to her feet. Why wouldn’t he be? Willa’s niece was mountain born and bred. She was a schoolteacher, which meant she was educated. She would make a good mother for Brian.

  And it was, she firmly, furiously, told herself, none of her business. A one-night stand during a snowstorm did not give her any claim on him, and it was best to forget it, as he had obviously done. Every night she had sat by the fire, hoping against hope she’d hear him knock on the door.

  Fool, she fiercely chided herself. Jackie Lundigan, you are a fool.

  “Are you all right, dear?”

  Jackie gave herself a mental shake, returning to the present to see that Willa was watching her with concern.

  “I’m fine. Too many cookies, I guess. I probably need to be thinking about getting home. I only stopped m to look over your children’s books. I thought I’d get a Christmas present for Brian.”

  “Oh, that would be nice,” Willa said approvingly. “I thought about doing the same, but children can’t have too many books, can they? But don’t leave just yet. You have to stay for the parade.”

  “What parade?”

  “Didn’t Sam tell you?”

  Jackie shook her head, clueless.

  “Well, it’s not really a parade, I guess,” Willa said. “It’s just something Sam does every year, and the high school band helps out by leading the way, and—”

  The bell over the door jingled. Willa recognized the customer and said, “You’ll have to excuse me. That’s Pearl Dillinger. I order big-print books for her to read. Her eyes are so bad, even with glasses. Her order came in, and I’ve got to get it for her. You go and browse in the children’s section.”

  She paused to shake a finger and playfully warn, “I mean it now. Don’t you dare go home till after that parade. It’s really something to see. It’ll get you in the Christmas spirit, for sure.”

  Jackie had planned to be home well before dark, but her curiosity was piqued. She would have to stay.

  She bought two books for Brian. Willa wasn’t busy when she rang up the sale so she offered to gift wrap her purchases. Jackie was glad, because she had no paper or bows at home. These would be the only presents she would buy, anyway.

  “I really need to get back,” she said as Willa cut holiday paper from a big roll. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s supposed to take place?”

  Willa said it would not be the same. “You just have to see it for yourself. Besides, it won’t be much longer. See those kids gathering outside?” She nodded toward the front windows.

  Jackie turned to see children lining up on the curb. “It must be quite a parade.”

  “No, nothing like that, but everybody enjoys it.”

  “What exactly does he do? Dress up like Santa and pass out candy?” That didn’t sound like Sam, but she couldn’t think of anything else.

  “Oh, he does much more than that. And he’s been doing it since Brian was about a year old. Between you and me—” she leaned to whisper, even though no one else was in the store “—I think he does it because he just plain loves kids and couldn’t have the big family he always wanted ’cause Donna was such a little snit. Joan—that’s Sam’s mother—told me Donna came right out and said she’d never have another baby. She didn’t like being pregnant with Brian...said she was miserable the whole time. Joan said it really upset Sam.”

  Jackie could understand that but figured it best not to comment.

  “So that’s why he has the parade,” Willa said. “He likes children.”

  Jackie wondered why Sam hadn’t said anything, but then, why should he? She was not an integral part of his life—except during a snowstorm, she thought wryly.

  By the time Willa finished wrapping Brian’s presents, people had begun piling into the store with their children, to stay warm till the parade started. Willa reveled in the crowd, and Jackie knew she’d been expecting it when she went into the back and came out with more Christmas cookies and then a big bowl of punch.

  To pass the time Jackie went to the hardware store and bought a lock for her front door. And because he was not busy, Tom Haskins explained to her how to install it.

  She also bought a drill and screw driver and was taking everything to her car when she heard the distant sound of snare drums.

  The sidewalks were crowded, and she was surprised to see so many people. And as the high school band rounded the corner, a cheer went up.

  They had tinsel draped around their plumed hats. The majorettes were wearing red velvet outfits. Bright green pompons bounced from their boots when they went into a high stepping routine as the band began to play “Here Comes Santa Claus.”

  All around her, people were singing along, and she found herself doing the same.

  The sun had set, and though it was not quite dark, the town’s Christmas lights suddenly came on, and the world around her was a magical place.

  Strangely, amidst the joy and revelry going on around her, Jackie felt a part of it all...part of the town, the people and, maybe most important, a sense of the true meaning of Christmas for the first time in her life.

  Then the crowd cheered even louder.

  Jackie stood on tiptoe, straining to see over the heads of the people in front of her.

  “There he is,” yelled a little boy, perched on his father’s shoulders, waving his arm in a frenzy. “I see him, Daddy. Here he comes.”

  Despite the noise, Jackie could hear bells making a ching-ching-ching sound. Then she smiled to realize they were sleigh bells, and when the man in front stepped to one side she could see the sleigh. It was real and it was old-fashioned, straight out of a Christmas card. The horses pulling it were wearing harnesses entwined with red ribbons and golden jingling bells.

  And then she saw Sam.

  He was holding the reins, and the sleigh was loaded down with packages and toys. Behind him, Hank was at the wheel of his truck, the back filled with trees.r />
  Sam reined to a stop. Some of the children began to surge forward. He handed each a gift. Some of the parents went to the truck to lift out a tree.

  All the while the band kept playing one Christmas song after another.

  A woman standing next to Jackie leaned close to marvel. “Isn’t Mr. Colton wonderful? This always puts everyone in the true Christmas spirit.”

  “He does this every year?” Jackie asked, astonished.

  “Oh, yes. He has a gift for every child. Oh, nothing expensive, of course. Just a little something to brighten their day. The trees are to help out families who may have had some financial problems during the year. Afterwards, there’s a little party at the National Guard Armory. Some of the churches pitch in to provide refreshments. It’s really a nice gathering.”

  Jackie was deeply touched by it all, for it was a side to Sam she had not known existed.

  “I wonder...” she said, more to herself than to the woman, “why he doesn’t dress up like Santa.”

  “Oh, I can’t see him doing that,” she said. “I mean, the way I hear it, he never intended for it to turn into a parade. He just wanted to do something nice for everybody, and then it sort of mushroomed after that. Isn’t it wonderful?”

  Yes, Jackie told her, it was.

  And so was he.

  When the gifts were all given out, and the crowd thinned to head for the armory and the party there, Jackie made her way back to the Book Nook.

  “What did I tell you?” Willa greeted effusively. “Wasn’t that nice? Didn’t it get you in the Christmas spirit?”

  “That it did,” Jackie agreed with all sincerity. “And it surprised me. I didn’t have any idea Sam did something like that.”

  “Well, he’s just modest,” Willa said.

  Not when he’s wearing only an afghan, Jackie secretly, wickedly, thought.

  “And he’s perfect for Rosemary,” Willa said proudly. “They’re going to make the perfect match. He’s modest, and she’s shy.”

  Jackie ground her teeth together to keep from making a face.

  “You’ll meet her Christmas,” Willa reminded. “And you’ll like her.”

  Jackie managed to keep sarcasm from her tone as she murmured, “I can’t wait.”

  It was very dark when Jackie finally went to her car. She dreaded the drive home, but it was her own fault. She should not have stayed in town. Now she had to pay the price for hanging around to find out about Sam and his parade.

  Willa had invited her to stay for supper, but Jackie would not have stayed even if she hadn’t wanted to get home before it got any later; if she heard one more word about how wonderful Rosemary was, she was afraid she’d scream.

  Crossing the street, she came to an abrupt halt to see Sam leaning against her car.

  “What... what are you doing here?” she asked, a thrill rushing through her.

  He straightened, pounding his gloved hands together, and gave a huge, mock shiver. “Freezing to death waiting for you to quit gabbing with Willa Kearney.”

  Stunned, she asked, “You knew where I was?”

  “Oh, yeah. I could see you through the windows.”

  “Well, if you wanted to talk to me, why didn’t you come inside instead of standing out here in the cold?”

  His laugh was as soft as the Christmas lights reflected in his blue eyes. “You mean you have to ask? Willa is a sweet old soul, but it’s hard as heck to get away from her.”

  Jackie had to laugh, too, because she had spent the last half hour trying to do just that. “I get your point. So what do you want with me?” She unlocked the door, anything to keep moving so she wouldn’t have to look at him, afraid he might see the longing that was surely in her eyes.

  “I saw your car parked here and figured you didn’t have any business driving home without somebody right behind to make sure you get there okay.”

  “That... that was nice of you,” she managed to say, then added, “and it was also nice what you did today. It must cost you a lot of money.”

  “Not really. The gifts aren’t expensive, but the kids don’t care. And I enjoy doing it But hey, you didn’t go to the party.”

  “No, I went back to Willa’s.”

  There was an awkward silence, then Sam said, “Well, I guess we better be heading home. Bonnie is keeping Brian, and she’s probably ready to call it a day.”

  “You didn’t let him come to the parade?”

  She saw how the muscle in his jaw tensed. “I didn’t figure he’d want to.”

  He turned and went to his truck, which was parked a few spaces away. She supposed Hank had taken the horses and sleigh back to where they came from and driven his own truck home. She didn’t know. She didn’t care. All she knew was that Sam cared enough to see her home safely, and that meant more than he could know.

  He had stayed far enough behind her that his headlights would not strike her rearview mirror and blind her.

  She was surprised when he did not stop at the end of her driveway and back out to go on home. Instead, he drove in right behind her and leaped out of his truck to open her car door for her.

  “You might fall in the snow,” he said, shining his flashlight to show the way. “I meant to get over here and shovel a path for you to the porch but just haven’t gotten around to it. A few people needed me to clear a driveway, since I’m the only one with a blade on my tractor.”

  He was talking fast and seemed nervous. Jackie sought to put him at ease lest he think she expected him to come inside for a repeat of the other night.

  They had reached her door, and she said, “It’s nice of you to help so many people, Sam, and I really appreciate your following me home. I’d invite you in for hot chocolate to say thanks, but I know Bonnie is waiting.”

  “Yeah, I guess she is.” He stared down at the toes of his boots.

  Jackie opened the door. It was too cold to keep standing there, and she supposed he was determined to make sure she actually got inside the cabin before leaving.

  “Well, good night,” she said quietly. “And thanks again.”

  “You’re more than welcome.”

  He turned to go but hesitated, then whirled about. “Jackie, listen, there’s something I want to say to you, but I’m afraid you might take it wrong.”

  She tensed. “Go on.”

  “It’s about what happened the other night.”

  She had sensed that it was.

  “I don’t want you to think I meant for it to happen. I did not—” he said firmly “—intend to make love to you. It just happened.”

  “You sort of already made that clear.” A lump had risen in her throat. What he was actually trying to say was that it had been an impulsive act and that she shouldn’t expect it to mean anything, because it didn’t.

  Neither spoke for a moment. Sam kept looking at his boots, and Jackie stared down at hers, as well.

  Finally she mustered a smile, although she felt like crying, and said, “Well, let’s just forget it, okay? That way it won’t be awkward for us to work together.”

  “Fine.” He sounded relieved.

  “Then good night. Be careful driving home.”

  “I will.”

  He waved without looking at her and made his way back to his truck.

  Jackie went inside. She didn’t look back, afraid she would burst into tears if she did.

  If not for the snow it never would have happened. And now it never would again.

  A part of her told her she should be glad, that Sam was so embittered he’d be a long time marrying again, if ever, and certainly not a city girl.

  But another part of her ached for what might have been... and sadly, would never be.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jackie did not want to go to Willa Kearney’s for Christmas dinner, but it seemed the only chance she would have to give Brian his present.

  She also had to secretly admit to a small case of cabin fever. The weather had been terrible. Temperatures had warmed, and the ra
ins came, leaving the roads a muddy, mucky mess. There was no telling when the phone company would be able to start running her line.

  She did not dare try to take her car out. Hank stopped by every few days to see if she needed anything, and she suspected Sam had told him to because Sam didn’t want to come. So, when Hank came Christmas Eve, she asked him if he would give her a ride into town so she could accept Willa’s invitation. He said he’d be glad to, then gave her a present Bonnie had made for her—a beautiful hand-knit scarf. Jackie was glad she’d found the time in the past weeks to embroider a pillow and could give that to Bonnie in return.

  While she was wrapping it, Hank accepted her offer to have coffee and sat down at the table to watch.

  “Seems like we don’t have much time to talk anymore,” he said. “I’m always in a hurry. You still liking it here?”

  “Yes, I sure do. Fact is, I love it.” She wasn’t about to say she didn’t think she would ever get used to such bitter cold weather. She was not going to complain about anything, knowing he would run straight to Sam and tell him.

  Hank seemed to read her mind. “You know the boss says you won’t stay.”

  “I know. He’s told me that several times. I don’t pay any attention to him. You shouldn’t, either. I’m here for good.”

  “You don’t get lonesome out here by yourself?”

  Actually, that was her biggest problem, but only since she had met Sam. Falling for him had put a kink in her plans for a life of peace and tranquility.

  “Of course not,” she glibly lied. “I have my books, and I make a stab at writing poetry. I’m also learning to embroider...like this pillow.”

  “Oh, that’s real pretty...real good.” His head bobbed up and down.

  She had already put Christmas paper around it and doubted he had even noticed what the pillow looked like.

  She had been doing some hard thinking lately about the possibility that Sam just might be attracted to Willa’s niece. If he married Rosemary, Jackie felt it would be best if she distanced herself. That meant getting serious about taking over her half of the farm, but she still had much to learn, much to do.